


Guess Who?

by Redgillan



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: (though it's one line), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - 1950s, Blood, Death, Drinking, F/M, Graphic Description of Corpses, Inappropriate Humor, Murder, Murder Mystery, References to Clue | Cluedo, Smut, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-28
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-25 11:56:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12530784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redgillan/pseuds/Redgillan
Summary: The honour of your presence is requestedat a Dinner Party this Fridayat seven-thirty in the eveningat Hill Mansion.Your name will be Lady Dazzle.Based on the movie Clue. You are invited to a strange house where you have to cooperate with the staff to solve the murder of one of the guests.





	1. Chapter 1

 

 _The honour of your presence is requested  
at a Dinner Party this Friday  
__at seven-thirty in the evening_  
at Hill Mansion.

_Your name will be Lady Dazzle._

* * *

You rang the doorbell once and waited. A few days ago, you had received an invitation to a dinner party. So there you were, clad in a designer dress that showed off your best assets.

You looked at your reflection in the glass doors and quickly checked to see if there was lipstick on your teeth. The door opened at that moment and you shyly straightened yourself up as the butler gave you a half-amused, half-annoyed look.

“Do you know who I am?” you asked.

“Only that you are to be known as Lady Dazzle.” He took a step back, allowing you room to walk past him.

“Yes, but why?” you asked while unbuttoning your coat.

The butler didn’t answer your question and carelessly threw your coat in the closet. You didn’t notice, you were too busy admiring the crystal chandelier.

“You’re late. Follow me.”

He directed you to the dining room where several people were already seated around a mahogany table. The guests looked up at you, inquisitive expressions on their faces. You sat down in the empty seat between a man with a goatee and a woman with long brown hair.

You couldn’t help the smirk that tugged at your lips when you saw  _him_. Oh, he recognized you too. He hid his grin behind the rim of his glass and sipped his wine.

“You’ll have realized that nobody here is being addressed by their real name. Let me introduce myself,” the butler said, catching the attention of the guests. “My name is Mr. Scott Lang and I will be your butler tonight.”

A woman entered the room. She was wearing a ridiculously short maid costume that would be appropriated for a sexy Halloween costume, but certainly not for a maid. Her high heels clicked on the wooden floor as she ran towards the man with a goatee and filled his glass with wine.

“This is Maria, the maid.”

“Where is Mr. Hill?” asked a nervous man seated next to a man with dirty blond hair and an angry-looking face.

“Unfortunately, Mr. Hill won’t be able to attend tonight’s dinner.”

Lang and Maria left the room, leaving behind an uncomfortable silence. A man cleared his throat and smoothed a hand down his tie. You all turned to him.

“Well, someone’s gotta break the ice and it might as well be me. I’m Captain America, now you all know this isn’t my real name, but it fits pretty well since I’m a soldier. Never mind, I’m used to these impromptu dinners, it’s part of my wife’s work.

“And it’s always difficult when a group of new friends meet together for the first time to get acquainted, so I’m perfectly prepared to start the ball rolling… I mean, I have absolutely no idea what we’re doing here, or what this place is about, but I am determined to enjoy myself and I’m very intrigued and- oh, my, this wine is delicious!”

He looked breathless after he finished his rambling speech and everyone stared at him, bewildered. He gave the guests a nervous smile before he gulped down the content of his glass.

The maid pushed the swinging door open with her butt and began serving dinner. The rest of the guests introduced themselves.

The brunette seated next to you was Miss Scarlet. According to her, she was an actress-slash-model-slash-singer-slash-writer. The man with the angry-looking face was Hawkeye. He talked in one-word sentences.

“Hawkeye. Retired.”

The man with a goatee was Professor Iron. He was –according to himself- a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. The woman sitting across from you had curly red hair and bright lipstick to match.

“We all know who you are,” Professor Iron scoffed as the redhead opened her mouth to speak. “I’ve read about you in the papers, you killed your husband.”

“Husban _dz_ ,” she accentuated the ‘ _s_ ’. “And I never killed anyone, their deaths were tragic accidents.”

“How did they die?” you asked.

She looked thoughtful for a moment. “One tripped down the stairs and decapitated himself. Another drank a whole bottle of hat cleaner and the third one stabbed himself in the heart. Tragic accidents.”

“Huh-uh, I see.”

“You can call me Mrs. Black,” she offered.

The man sitting next to her was Monsieur Falcon, he worked as a financial analyst, and next to him was Doctor Green who, as it turned out, was a doctor.

All eyes turned to the man who was noisily slurping his soup. He smiled and dabbed his lips with his napkin.

“I’m Mr. Winter. I run a small business. And who are you, darlin’?”

All eyes turned to you as you held Mr. Winter’s gaze.

“Lady Dazzle,” you replied with a smirk. “I work with my husband, I’m his  _assistant_.”

“Already married, uh?” Mr. Winter grinned.

“Yes, and he’s quite the jealous type.”

After dinner, Mr. Lang asked the guests to join him in the study where Maria would offer them coffee and a glass of brandy. The guests were starting to form little groups as they found common interests.

Professor Iron and Doctor Green were standing close to the fireplace, talking about some scientific theory. Miss Scarlet, Hawkeye, Captain America and Mr. Winter were lounging on the sofas, making small talk while you were talking with Mrs. Black and Monsieur Falcon.

“I’ve never been to a party where I had to use a different name,” Monsieur Falcon said with a laugh.

The ice tinkled as Mrs. Black swirled the brandy around in her glass. “I have, but this one is different. We’re all wearing way too much clothing.”

One by one, everyone left the room.

Mr. Lang told Falcon and the Captain that there was a pool table in the room next door. Hawkeye returned to the dining room, where he had left his pack of cigarettes, and Miss Scarlet went to the restroom.

You met Mr. Winter’s eyes and gave him a coy smirk before you left the room. He bit his lower lip as he watched you cross the hall and open the library door. You added an extra sway to your hips for his viewing pleasure.

He waited a minute before he followed you.

“Fancy meeting you here, Lady Dazzle.”

He closed the library door behind him and strutted over to you, backing you up against the bookshelf. His look was feral, predatory, and you slowly wrapped your leg around his waist.

He claimed your mouth in a passionate kiss as he pressed himself against you. You shimmied out of your undergarment and helped him lower his slacks. Books fell to the floor as he thrust into you, but you were too distracted to pay attention.

He finished inside you, his face buried in the crook of your neck. For a moment, you stayed like that, bodies still connected, hearts thumping while you caught your breath.

“You have to stop looking at me like that, Bucky, or they’ll know.”

“Know what, sweetheart?” He wiped the red lipstick off his mouth with the back of his hand, never breaking eye contact with you.

“That I’m Mrs. Winter,” you whispered into his ear.

Your husband placed a tender kiss on your cheek, just barely touching the corner of your mouth, before he fixed his slacks and walked back to the door.

“Be careful, doll, I have a bad feeling about tonight.” He scolded you with a disapproving glare when you rolled your eyes. “The aliases, the mystery host who didn’t even show up, the strange guests… something’s up.”

You walked over to him and placed a kiss on his jawline. “You are  _so_  clever, you should have been a cop,” you said, sarcasm dripping from your voice.

He scoffed. “Robbing banks is a lot more lucrative.”

“Shame, I bet you’d look good in their uniform.”

“Honey, I look good in anything,” he replied, grinning like an idiot.

You went to the restroom to clean yourself up and check your makeup while Bucky returned to the study. As he crossed the hall, a folded piece of paper on the floor caught his attention and he bent to pick it up.

 

> _Black – killed her husbands  
>  _ _Captain – desertion  
>  _ _Scarlet – part of a satanic cult  
>  _ _Falcon – embezzlement  
>  _ _Iron – war profiteer  
> _ _Winter & Dazzle - Bank robbers  
>  _ _Green – mad scientist  
>  _ _Hawkeye – Spy_

His heart rate picked up and he looked around, but he was alone in the hall. Someone in this house knew his secret –they knew everyone’s secret. Bucky immediately suspected Scott Lang and Maria since they were not on the list.

He carefully put the scrap of paper in his pocket and entered the deserted study. He poured himself a glass of brandy and drank it down.

Mr. Lang and the guests returned to the study soon after.

“Your host will join us in a moment,” Lang explained, then looked around the room, bobbing his head up and down, silently counting the number of guests. “Where is Hawkeye?”

The guests reluctantly stood up and began searching the mansion. Mrs. Black peeked into the dining room, then ran towards the billiard room. The rest of the party followed with a lot less enthusiasm.

A high-pitched scream tore through the air and you all rushed toward the restroom.

Mrs. Black gripped the wall to hold herself steady, a hand covering her mouth. Hawkeye was lying at her feet, dead. There was a rope tied around his neck and his face had taken on a greenish colour.

The room was eerily silent as the guests looked at each other suspiciously for a moment.

Who murdered Hawkeye? And why?

“Dun-dun-duuun!” Professor Iron said in a low, ominous voice. You all shot him a dirty look and he grimaced. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist.”


	2. Chapter 2

 

“Is he dead?” Miss Scarlet asked, clutching Captain America’s arm.

Professor Iron pushed Doctor Green forward. “You do it, you’re a doctor.”

Green tugged his arm free and narrowed his eyes at him. “I’m a scientist, not a coroner.”

You took a step toward Hawkeye’s lifeless body and poked him with the thin heel of your shoe. The guests grimaced as you randomly poked at the dead man.

“Looks dead to me,” you finally concluded.

Mrs. Black let out a little cry as she fanned herself with her hand. When her legs started wobbling, Mr. Lang rushed to her and encircled her with his arms.

“Fall into my arms,” he told her. She slipped right through his arms and ended up lying flat on the floor as Lang stood above her, hugging thin air. “Sorry.”

“I demand to know what’s going on. Why have we all been dragged up to this horrible place?” Scarlet asked, still hiding behind the Captain’s broad shoulders.

“How did he die?” Mr. Winter, your husband, asked.

Stepping over her passed out body, Lang faced the crowd. He gripped the door frame when he almost tripped over Hawkeye’s body.

“I DON’T KNOW!” he started shouting, frustration and fear lacing his voice. “THAT’S WHAT WE’RE TRYING TO FIND OUT! WE’RE TRYING TO FIND OUT WHO KILLED HIM, AND WHERE, AND WITH WHAT!”

“There’s no need to shout,” you told him.

“I’M NOT SHOUTING!” Lang replied, still yelling. You cocked an eyebrow at him and he took a deep breath. “Alright I am! I’m SHOUTING, I’M SHOUTING, I’M SHOUT-”

When he closed the restroom door, the candlestick placed above the door fell and hit him on the head. Lang dropped to his knees before he fell forward and landed with his face firmly rammed in Hawkeye’s crotch.

Iron puffed out a breath. “Alright, I suggest we take all the dead bodies and passed out people into the study.”

You, Scarlet and Maria took care of Mrs. Black’s body while the others carried Hawkeye. When Lang joined you, he was holding an ice pack to his head and the candlestick in his free hand.

“Careful, I don’t want blood on the sofa,” he told the group of men who had carelessly plopped the corpse onto the sofa.

Monsieur Falcon moved the dead body around so that it looked like Hawkeye was casually sitting on the sofa. He opened his mouth to speak when he noticed Hawkeye’s dead eyes staring at him. He made a face of disgust and closed the man’s eyes.

“We should call the police.”

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard tonight,” Iron fired back as he sat between Hawkeye and Mrs. Black who was still unconscious. He made himself comfortable and slung his arms over their shoulders. “One of us a murderer.”

“That’s exactly why we should call the police,” Falcon replied, crossing his arms over his chest.

“We cannot call the police,” Lang chimed in. “You just moved the body and my fingerprints are all over the candlestick. If this was the weapon used to kill him, they’ll think I’m the one who did it.”

“And what if you are the killer?”

“I’m not.”

“How do we know you’re telling the truth?”

“How do you know I’m not telling the truth?”

“What?”

“What?”

“Are you telling the truth?” Falcon articulated, his brow furrowed in confusion.

“I’m lost,” Lang said, rubbing his temples.

Falcon walked over to the bar where he poured himself a glass of whiskey before turning to face them again.

“Okay, fine. Why are we here? I think it’s safe to say we all received a letter, an outfit and an alias.” He looked at the others who nodded confirmation. “Why does the master of the house want to see us?”

Lang plopped down in the armchair near a large painting of a woman lounging on a sofa. He let out a heavy sigh before he raised his head and saw the others staring at him.

“My boss knows what you’ve all done,” he revealed. “You’ve all committed a crime and got away with it. This is why you are here today.

“My employer and I were going to expose your crimes and call the police, but things got out of hand… way out of hands. My memory isn’t as good as it used to be, so I wrote everything on a piece of paper. It must have fallen out of my pocket after dinner.”

Bucky’s eyes widened, now the list he had found on the floor made sense.

At this moment, he decided to keep his mouth shut. He thought it best to be one step ahead of everyone else, especially since he had to protect you.

“I don’t want to stay here any longer,” Falcon said as he put his empty glass down on the desk. “I will admit that I have done things I’m not proud of, but I am no murderer. The best thing to do now is to solve this mystery on our own. We’ll catch the murderer, call the police and get out of here before they show up.”

“Hang on, Velma.” Professor Iron stopped him. “How exactly are we going to solve a murder when the murderer is likely one of us? Personally, my money’s on the Black Widow.”

“She literally fainted when she saw the corpse,” Green pointed out.

“Maybe she’s faking it,” Iron said with a shrug.

Maria rounded the sofa and hunched over Mrs. Black, giving the rest of the guests a nice view of her backside. She slapped Mrs. Black across the face so hard that the redhead woke up.

“What was that for?” Black screeched, holding her bruised cheek.

“Nap time is over,” Maria replied as she adjusted her apron. When she noticed everyone’s dubious expression, she shrugged. “Someone had to do something.”

“Right,” Mr. Lang clapped his hands once. “Now that that’s settled, let’s split up and search every inch of this house.”

You took a step back, your face screwed up in an incredulous expression. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Lang is right,” Green agreed. “Mr. Hill never joined us. There’s a chance he might be in the house.”

“Have any of you seen a horror movie before?” you asked rhetorically. “There are rules; don’t have sex, don’t drink or do drugs and never say ‘ _I’ll be right back_ ’.”

You had already broken two of these rules.

“Suppose that one of us is the murderer,” you continued. “If we split up into pairs, whichever one is left with the killer might get killed!”

“Then we would have discovered who the murderer is,” Lang replied calmly.

“But the other half of the pair would be dead!” you screamed.

“What other choice do we have?”

“None,” Scarlet sighed.

“I need a drink,” you mumbled.

Falcon handed you a glass and the Captain, Iron and Scarlet joined you.

“Fine,” Bucky said, moving closer to you. “If we’re doing this, I’m taking Lady Dazzle with me.”

Iron scoffed. “Yeah, you wish.”

The two men stared daggers at one another, then Lang took a box of long matchsticks from the mantelpiece.

“I suggest we draw lots for partners.”

He cut ten matchsticks into five different sizes and turned around while he arranged them to hide their length. Once he was satisfied, he faced the group again.

“The two shortest search the cellar, and so on up. Agreed?”

You all hummed your response and took a match.

Yours was short, definitely shorter than Bucky’s. You shared a look, knowing you were not going to be together.

Green was paired up with Scarlet, Lang with the Captain and Falcon with Maria. Mrs. Black walked up to Bucky and compared their matchsticks; they were the same length. The thought of them having to search the house together made your hands sweat.

Your partner sneaked up behind you.

“It’s you and me, honey bunch,” Iron whispered to you, ignoring your cringe.

Maria and Falcon reluctantly moved towards the cellar, which was next to the restroom. Bucky, Black, Lang and the Captain went upstairs to search the master bedroom and the attic.

You and Iron took the dining room, the kitchen and the billiard room while Scarlet and Green searched the library and the conservatory.

There was no place to hide in the dining room, but you noticed that one of the chairs was broken and a candlestick was missing. This was probably were Hawkeye had been attacked.

“Ladies first,” Iron said as he gestured toward the kitchen door.

“No, thanks,” you replied.

“I insist.”

You rolled your eyes before you both tried to open the door at the same time. You kept Professor Iron in your line of sight while you both searched the spotless kitchen. He walked up to the island and swiped icing from the edge of the cake. He brought his finger up to his mouth and groaned as he tasted the frosting.

You motioned with your head and eyes toward the walk-in freezer. Iron put his hand on the knob and silently told you to stand behind him in case someone was hiding inside the freezer. It would be the worst hiding place, though.

You sighed in relief when you found the freezer empty. Iron continued to search through the cupboards and closets while you inspected the freezer.

You took one of the meat hooks and gasped when it opened a door at the back of the freezer. Professor Iron rushed back to you.

“It’s a secret passage,” you said excitedly. “Should we see where it leads?”

Iron shrugged. “I’ll go first. I’ve had a good life.”

Thankfully, his watch was also a torch. It seemed to be a complicated gadget, but you didn’t ask questions. The floor was uneven, but you still managed to follow him through the narrow corridor. When Iron suddenly stopped, you almost ran into him. He swung aside the soft wall, realizing later that it was the portrait of the woman lounging on the sofa.

“Oh,” you said, disappointed, when you recognized the study.

Iron looked around the room. “Where are Heckle and Jeckle?”

As if the alias thing wasn’t complicated enough, he had to give everyone a nickname. You figured he was talking about Green and Scarlet, so you went out into the hall to look for them. They both left the library when they heard the sound of your high heels clipping across the floor.

“There’s a secret passage from the conservatory to the library,” Green said, gesturing with his hand towards the library.

“We found several books on the floor,” Scarlet continued. “I think someone attacked Hawkeye in the library and strangled him with the rope.”

“Maybe. They must have used the secret passage to move the body without being seen,” Iron concluded.

“But who knows about the secret passages?” Scarlet asked.

“No one,” Iron reluctantly admitted, then his eyes widened. “No one except the staff! They’re the murderers and we’re next!”

“That’s absurd,” Scarlet let out a humourless laugh. “They were with me when Hawkeye got killed.”

“I saw Winter leave the library” Green said, snapping his fingers.

“It can’t be Mr. Winter,” you replied.

The others cocked a brow at you. “Why not?”

You mentally cursed yourself. You knew it wasn’t him because he was too busy having sex with you to kill anyone. It was too dangerous to reveal your secret, so you tried to come up with a plausible lie. You all jumped at the sound of the doorbell and panic washed over you again. You looked at each other, wondering what to do next. Whoever they were, they were going to regret ringing that doorbell.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More blood and death

 

Mr. Lang came rushing down the stairs, followed by Mrs. Black, Captain America and your husband, also known as Mr. Winter. Lang skidded to a stop and bumped into you. You, Professor Iron, Doctor Green and Miss Scarlet were still frozen in place.

The doorbell rang again as Maria and Falcon came back from the cellar.

“Aren’t you going to answer the door?” Falcon asked.

Lang turned to him. “Need I remind you that there’s a dead body in the study?”

“Oh, yeah…”

“Stay calm and act normal!”

Lang smoothed his suit jacket and walked up to the front door. He held his breath and yanked the door open. The stranger recoiled a bit when he saw Lang’s nervous smile.

“How can I help you, sir?”

“My car broke down out there. Can I use your phone?”

“Of course.” He let him into the house. “There’s a phone in the study-”

“NO!” you all shouted in unison.

“-but the study is a mess. I think there’s a phone in the library,” Lang quickly said as he led the stranger to the room.

He walked past the group and you all tried to smile at him. Although, judging by the look on his face, you’d only managed to scare him. The stranger closed the door slowly while giving the group a suspicious glare.

Once he had closed the door, Mrs. Black slapped Lang’s shoulder as hard as she could.

“You let him in? There’s a dead body in the house!” she whispered crossly, hoping to intimidate him.

“I think he’s onto something!” Green gasped. “We’re all going to jail!”

“Relax. Let’s not draw attention to ourselves. He’s going to call a tow truck and leave. He would have found it odd if we had refused to let him in. Trust me, it’s the safest thing to do.”

“Not so sure about that,” you mumbled.

“Dazzle’s right,” Scarlet chimed in. “He’s going to have to wait for that tow truck and then the mechanic will show up. They’ll read about us in the papers and then they’ll go to the police. He saw our faces, he knows what we loo-”

She stopped talking mid-sentence and brought her hand up to her throat as if she was going to throw up. She mumbled something about not feeling well as her face scrunched up in distress. She turned to you and your eyes grew wide as blood began to stain her lips. She coughed once, sending rivulets of blood splattering across your face.

You screamed and watched helplessly as more blood poured out of her mouth and down the front of her dress. Disoriented, she tried to ask for help, but her legs buckled and she almost fell. Scarlet tried to grab your shoulder, but Bucky pulled you away from her. She slowly fell to the ground, her mouth and hands covered in dark sticky blood.  

Bucky had pressed you against his chest, rubbing your back soothingly. He didn’t care if it looked suspicious, he needed to make sure you were safe. Miss Scarlet laid dead at your feet, a small pool of blood forming under her mouth

“What the hell just happened?” Captain America hissed.

“Miss Scarlet fucking died in the middle of the hall!” Iron shouted, his hands shaking.

You all shushed him, which sounded like the hissing of snakes. Lang turned to face the library door. Surely the stranger would have heard you scream. He would have heard Scarlet choke on her own blood or the panicked voice of Iron.

“It’s strange,” Lang said, his eyes fixed on the door, “we’ve been screaming for the past ten minutes and he’s still in there.”

“Maybe he’s a little deaf.”

“Or a little dead,” Falcon replied.

The party tiptoed toward the library door while Bucky took you back to the study to clean your blood-stained face. You stared into space while he removed the blood with a napkin he had found on the desk.

“I’m gonna get you out of here,” he whispered in case someone was listening. “Do you hear me, sweetheart?”

“It was so sudden,” you replied, too stunned to process what had happened. “There was so much blood, Bucky, it was so disgusting. What’s going to happen to us? Are we all going to die one by one?”

He grabbed your shoulders and made you look at him. “I won’t let that happen. No one’s gonna touch my wife, you’re safe with me, I promise.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I have a plan,” he replied. “Make sure to be in the hall, the front door isn’t locked and my car is parked out front.”

“I know I saw it earlier, but what if they try to stop us?”

“Let them try.”

Bucky showed you the gun strapped to his ankle and you gave a soft gasp before he kissed you hard. You broke the kiss when you both heard the sound of someone being dragged across the floor.

Mrs. Black looked out of breath as she dragged Scarlet’s dead body into the study. She asked for help so Bucky stood up and helped her throw Scarlet on the sofa next to Hawkeye. Iron and the Captain followed her closely, carrying the body of the stranger. He had been bashed on the head with some blunt object.

“Yup, this guy’s dead, too! We’re gonna need a bigger room!” Iron replied, his tone sarcastic. He groaned when Captain America dropped the stranger’s body. “C’mon, Mr. Perfect Teeth! You’re the one with the big muscles. Use ‘em!”

“I’m sorry, I’m not used to it.”

“Newsflash, buddy, it’s kind of a first for me too,” Iron replied.

You heard Lang scream to Maria that the cleaning products were in the cabinet next to the cellar and not in the kitchen. Green sat down in the sofa near the painting-slash-secret passage while Falcon examined the glasses left on the bar.

You crossed your arms over your chest as you observed the man’s body. He had been killed while you were all in the hall. It was a pretty bold move and only someone who knew of the existence of the secret passage could have killed him.

As far as you knew these people were the staff, you, Iron, Green and Scarlet.

“What happened to Scarlet?” you asked no one in particular.

“She was poisoned,” Falcon answered, waving an empty glass of brandy. “Her glass smells like almond. It’s cyanide. And before you ask, there’s a smear of pink lipstick on the rim. That’s how I know it’s hers.”

“We also drank brandy,” you said, looking at Falcon and the Captain.

“I know, I remember,” Falcon replied. “Our glasses don’t smell weird. Scarlet was the target.”

Iron chuckled. “It rhymes.”

You rolled your eyes. Maria and Lang returned to the study and plopped down in the nearest seat. They both looked completely spent.

“Poor Miss Scarlett,” the Captain said. “What the hell did that woman do to deserve such a brutal end?”

“She was a member of a satanic cult,” Bucky answered. When all eyes turned to him, he grinned to himself. “I found a little piece of paper on the floor before we found the dead body.”

“The first one or the second one?” Black interrupted.

“The first one,” he replied. “It’s the list Lang mentioned earlier; the one with our pseudonyms and the crimes we’ve committed.”

The other guests tensed in their seat, but Lang didn’t seem too worried. He held Bucky’s stare, a smirk tugging at his lips. Bucky knew this was his only chance to get out of this place. He decided to use the note against Lang. He was sure that the butler was the murderer. Iron would have appreciated the rhyme.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t picture this lovely girl in a satanic cult,” Iron commented, shaking his head.

“She was,” Bucky repeated. “And you’re a war profiteer.”

“Yes,” Iron admitted. It wasn’t something he was proud of and it felt liberating to say it out loud. “I stole essential Air Force radio parts, and I sold them on the black market. That is how I made all my money. But that does not make me a murderer!”

“It does,” the Captain protested, “a lot of our airmen died because their radios didn’t work!”

“ _Our airmen_?” Bucky chuckled. “That’s rich, coming from a deserter.”

“Ah, Mr. Perfect Teeth isn’t a model of virtue? Honestly, I’m shocked.”

The Captain gave Iron a dirty look and returned to his seat without a word.

“Dazzle’s a bank robber, Falcon’s a crook and Green’s a mad scientist-”

“I’m not a mad scientist,” Green objected. “I created a serum that will improve the lives of soldiers. My work has helped millions of people and will continue to help in the future. But other scientists are too narrow minded. Sacrifices are necessary if we want to continue our good work.”

“You’re experimenting on unwitting patients,” Black guessed, her face twisted in disgust. “How cruel!”

“Cruel?!” Green exclaimed. “You murdered your husbands. How cruel is that?”

She shrugged one shoulder. “Husbands should be like Kleenex; soft, strong and disposable.”

Bucky looked at you, silently telling you to follow his lead. He couldn’t leave the room without attracting suspicion so he needed to create a diversion. His plan was going well, the guests were yelling at each other, but Lang saw right through his schemes.

“I know what you are, Mr. Winter,” Lang said, a sickening smile on his face. The guests stopped yelling and turned to Bucky. “He’s a bank robber, too. In fact, he’s married to Lady Dazzle.”

Bucky’s jaw clenched hard as Lang revealed his secret. He wanted to wipe that smug grin right off Lang’s face.

“I’m going to kill you,” Bucky hissed through gritted teeth. “You’re dead!”

He grabbed Lang and threw him to the ground. He punched the man beneath him, pounding his face with his fist. Bucky heard the rest of the guests scream before he felt two people trying to hold him back. Lang slowly rose from the floor and coughed up the blood running down his throat from his shattered nose. “I think we all know who the killer is. We should tie him up, call the police and leave.”

“It doesn’t prove anything,” you quickly said, defending your husband. “He punched you in the face, you’re not dead.”

“No, but  _he_  is,” Falcon said, loud enough to catch everyone’s attention.

He suddenly noticed that everyone was looking at him and gestured with his head toward Doctor Green. At first glance, it looked like the scientist was sleeping, but his clothes were soaked with blood.  

Black inspected the body. “Stabbed through the heart with a paper knife.”

Iron puffed out a breath. “Well, at least, we won’t have to carry his body.”


	4. Chapter 4

 

The room fell strangely silent. Professor Iron was sitting between Hawkeye and Scarlet’s dead bodies, a forlorn look in his eyes. You were completely exhausted and your high heels were killing your feet.

To distract yourself, you went over the events of the night. The gears in your head were turning furiously as you tried to remember everything. There were four dead people in the room and eight people still breathing. Well, it could have been worse.

You let out a small gasp when everything clicked into place.

“Very well,” you said, breaking the peaceful silence. “I know who did it.”

The others looked at you incredulously. “You do?!”

“I’m going to tell you how it was all done.” You rose from your seat and removed your shoes, wiggling your bare toes against the hardwood floor. “Follow me.”

You ran toward the hall and climbed the steps that led to the front door before you turned and faced the guests. They waited for you to say something.

“In order to help you understand what happened, I shall need to take you through the events of the evening, step by step. At the start of the evening, I rang the doorbell and Mr. Lang opened the door. He took my coat and told me I was late. Then he led me to the dining room.”

You hurried down the steps and pushed through the crowd as you crossed the hall. The guests turned to follow you. Bucky and Iron were listening to you attentively, but the others didn’t give a damn.

You gestured toward the dining room. “We ate, we talked, we looked at each other suspiciously and then-” You sprinted back to the study with the confused guests in tow. “We drank, we talked and we all left the room at some point.”

“Great! It could be anyone,” Iron replied, throwing his arms up in exasperation.

“No! Because Falcon and Captain America stayed in the billiard room the entire time.”

“Well, I was with Green,” Iron said.

“Yes, but he can’t confirm it.” You shrugged.

“Because he’s dead.”

“Because you killed him, Professor Iron.”

You pointed an accusing finger at the man and the guests moved away from him. Iron crossed his arms over his chest and made a show of rolling his eyes.

“You’re crazy,” he said.

“Maybe,” you shrugged, “but while my husband was beating the crap out of Lang, you took the paper knife and stabbed Green in the heart.”

“Why? I liked the man, we ever called ourselves the science bros.”

“You killed him because he saw something he shouldn’t have seen,” you replied, moving closer to Iron. “He saw you run to the conservatory while Miss Scarlet was choking on her own blood.

“You knew where the secret passage was. Green and Scarlet told us when we split up to search the house. You killed the stranger with a wrench or maybe or lead pipe before you casually joined us.”

“There’s one thing I don’t understand,” Lang said, raising his hand like a schoolboy asking permission to speak.

“ _One_  thing?” Falcon replied mockingly.

“Why did he kill the stranger?”

“Because he was scared. The stranger could later recognize us. Iron thought he could kill the motorist and let the real killer take the blame.”

Falcon and Captain America exchanged looks, nodded and took hold of Iron’s arms. Iron groaned and tried to wiggle free, but it was useless.

“So who killed Hawkeye?” Bucky asked.

“Miss Scarlet,” you told him.

“That sweet girl?” Captain America gasped. “I have a hard time believing that.”

“She told us she was with the staff when Hawkeye got killed.”

“It was a lie,” Lang confirmed, “we were both in the cellar, we needed more champagne. Scarlet wasn’t with us.”

You snapped your fingers in Lang’s direction before you ran toward the dining room. The others looked at you.

“Scarlet and Hawkeye argued over something and Miss Scarlet took the candlestick-”

You took a candlestick and chased a frightened Mr. Lang around the hall.

“She went after Hawkeye and killed him!” You pretended to hit Lang with the candlestick and pushed him into the restroom. “She threw him into the toilet, ran to the conservatory, grabbed the rope and tied it around his neck.”

“But why?” the other asked.

“To create confusion.”

“It worked,” Bucky replied and the others nodded.

“Okay, but who killed Scarlet?” Maria asked, helping Lang to his feet. “She didn’t poison herself.”

“No,” you replied, smiling as you walked around the room and stopped in front of the killer. “She was killed by Hawkeye’s lover, Mrs. Black.”

“That’s a lie!” Black gasped, taking a step back.

“You knew Hawkeye, I noticed the way you looked at each other during dinner. And we’ve already established that you murdered your husbands. Yet, you fainted when we found Hawkeye’s body. You were in love with him.”

“Yes, it’s true,” she admitted. “I loved him.”

“You saw Scarlet’s pink lipstick on Hawkeye’s collar and that sent you into a blind rage. You poisoned her glass before we split up to search the house.

“Do you think I walk around with little vials of poison in my pockets?” Black scoffed.

“Yes!” you all replied at the same time.

Mrs. Black reached into her purse and pulled out a gun.

“Brilliantly worked out, Dazzle. I congratulate you,” she said and you shrugged off the praise. “Yes, I killed Scarlet and now I’m going to kill all of you.”

She gestured with her gun toward the stairs. You and the rest of the guests gathered near the stairs.

“Wait a second,” Iron said, shaking his head. “So I killed the stranger and Green. The Black Widow killed Hawkeye’s murderer, but where is Mr. Hill?”

Mrs. Black’s jaw clenched, her patience was running thin.

“I’m Mr. Hill,” Maria said, holding out her hand. “Well, I’m  _Mrs_. Hill, this is my house.”

“Ooooh, I didn’t see that coming,” he replied, shaking her hand. “You got me good!”

“Thanks!” Maria gave him a smile. “It wasn’t easy, I mean-”

Mrs. Black fired a warning shot into the ceiling. “SHUT UP!”

“No need to shout,” Iron grumbled.

“I took this gun from Mr. Winter during the fight,” she said, cocking her head to one side, “I hope you don’t mind, dear.”

“You should take a step back,” Lang warned.

Mrs. Black rolled her eyes. “I’m not scared of you, Lang. You’re-”

She never finished her sentence. Unbeknownst to her, the gunshot had hit the chandelier rope and you all watched as the chandelier started spinning. The rope snapped and the chandelier fell on Mrs. Black, crushing her.

You turned away from the gruesome scene and buried your face into Bucky’s chest.

“She should have listened to me.” Lang shrugged.

* * *

* * *

##  _THAT’S HOW IT COULD HAVE HAPPENED._

* * *

##  _BUT HOW ABOUT THIS?_

* * *

* * *

“We drank, we talked and we all left the room at some point.”

“Great! It could be anyone,” Iron replied, throwing his arms up in exasperation.

“No! Because Falcon and Captain America stayed in the billiard room the entire time.”

“Well, I was with Green,” Iron said.

“Yes, but he can’t confirm it.” You shrugged.

“Because he’s dead.”

“Because Falcon killed him,” you revealed.

You pointed an accusing finger at the man and the guests moved away from him. At the mention of his name, Falcon whipped around.

“I’ve never killed anyone.”

“You killed Green.”

“You’ve no proof.”

“Actually, I do,” you replied.

The guests made a circle around you and Falcon as you started to explain what had happened.

“While Miss Scarlet was choking on her own blood, Doctor Green ran to the conservatory, took a wrench and used the secret passage to kill the stranger. Then, he nonchalantly re-joined us. It took less than half a minute.”

“Green killed the stranger? Why? And how did he know about the secret passage?” Bucky asked.

“He found the secret passage with Scarlet when we were searching the house. And we all heard Green panic when Lang let the motorist use the phone. He could have recognized us later and call the cops.

“Green thought he could kill the motorist and let the real killer take the blame, but Falcon saw him run to the conservatory. When we found the stranger’s body, he deduced Green was the murderer.”

You sprinted back to the study and lay down on the floor where Lang and Bucky had been fighting. You crossed your ankles and waited for the guests to enter the study. The guests groaned when they saw you on the floor. They were tired of your whimsical explanation.

“And while my lovely husband was beating the crap out of Lang-” you took Bucky’s offered hand and hoisted yourself up, “-Falcon took the paper knife and killed Green.”

“You’ve no proof,” Falcon repeated, exasperated.

You grabbed his wrist. “You accidentally cut yourself with the paper knife.”

The rest of the guests took a timid step toward you and Falcon. You showed them his palm and the fresh oozing cut. Falcon pulled his hand free and took a step back. He glared at the guests, his face set in an angry scowl.

“You guys should be thanking me,” he said, his eyes narrowed. “I killed the murderer, you’re welcome. Without me, you’d all be dead. Green was going to murder us one by one.”

You shook your head. “Green didn’t kill Hawkeye or Miss Scarlet.”

“Then who did?”

The sound of a gun’s safety being removed made you cringe. You felt the tip of a gun press against the back of your head and instinctively raised your hands up in surrender. The others did the same.

You slowly turned around, your hands still up, and faced the person who had murderer Hawkeye and Scarlet in cold blood.

“I always knew it was you,” you said, “but why?”

“Why?” Mr. Lang’s eyes widened before he let out a dark laugh. “Because I’m broke as hell. Um, sorry,  _we’_ re broke as hell.”

The maid walked over to Lang. She grinned as she walked past you. “Are you surprised?”

“Not really,” you replied, shrugging.

She kissed Lang and linked her fingers with his.

“This is my wife, Hope, and you’ll find Maria Hill in the only room you guys haven’t searched,” Land said, sharing a look with Hope before they both laughed.

“Quick question,” Iron chimed in, half hidden behind Captain America. “Is she alive or dead?”

“Dead.”

“Mmh,” Iron mumbled, his lips pressed into a thin line.

“She’s in the toilet,” you muttered to yourself.

“Exactly!” Hope beamed. “We figured no one would go near the restroom after the first murder. We’ve worked for Maria for years, we know this house like the back of our hands.”

“We sent the letters,” Lang continued. “You all have money. Iron stole Air Force radio parts and sold them on the black market. Winter and Dazzle are bank robbers, Black received the money from her husbands’ life insurance policies, and so on and so forth.”

“We had to kill Hawkeye. He had forgotten his pack of cigarette in the dining room and saw us carry Maria’s dead body into the freezer,” Hope tutted. “Smoking kills.”

“I hit him on the head with the candlestick and dragged him to the toilet,” Lang explained. “Then, we tied the rope around his neck to make it look like he had committed suicide, but we ran out of time.

“We realized we had left the candlestick above the door and when it  _knocked me out_ -” he made air quotes with his fingers, “-you took Mrs. Black and Hawkeye into the study. It gave me enough time to drag Maria’s body to the toilet and get an ice pack.”

“Why?”

“To create confusion.”

“It worked,” Iron jokingly said.

“There’s one thing I don’t understand,” you said.

“ _One_  thing?” Black replied mockingly.

“Why did you kill Scarlet?” you asked.

“She figured it out so she had to die.”

“Scarlet was one smart cookie,” Captain America remarked and the others agreed.

“Listen,” Bucky pleaded, “nobody’s called the police. I suggest that we stack the bodies in the cellar, lock it, leave quietly, one at a time, and pretend that none of this has ever happened.”

The others let out surprised gasps, but offered no comment. Lang shared a look with Hope before they both shrugged.

“Great idea, we’ll leave first… if you don’t mind,” Hope replied sarcastically.

Lang waved his gun in the air and motioned toward the stairs. You and the rest of the guests gathered near the stairs. Bucky used his broad shoulders to shield you.

“Be my guest. In fact, I think we all owe you a vote of thanks,” Bucky said, then started singing. “ _For he’s a jolly good fellow, for he’s a jolly good fellow…”_

The rest of the guests joined him while Hope and Lang left the house. Once they were gone, you all relaxed and Bucky released a relieved breath.

“Would anyone care for fruit… or desert?” he asked, turning to face the exasperated guests.

##  _BUT HERE’S WHAT REALLY HAPPENED…_


	5. Chapter 5

 

The room fell strangely silent. Professor Iron was sitting between Hawkeye and Scarlet’s dead bodies, a forlorn look in his eyes. You were completely exhausted and your high heels were killing your feet.

To distract yourself, you went over the events of the night. The gears in your head were turning furiously as you tried to remember everything. There were four dead people in the room and eight people still breathing. Well, it could have been worse.

You let out a small gasp when everything clicked into place.

“Very well,” you said, breaking the peaceful silence. “I know who did it.”

The others looked at you incredulously. “You do?!”

“I’m going to tell you how it was all done.” You rose from your seat and removed your shoes, wiggling your bare toes against the hardwood floor. “Follow me.”

You ran toward the hall and climbed the steps that led to the front door before you turned and faced the guests. They waited for you to say something.

“In order to help you understand what happened, I shall need to take you through the events of the evening, step by step. At the start of the evening, I rang the doorbell and Mr. Lang opened the door. He took my coat and told me I was late. Then he led me to the dining room.”

You hurried down the steps and pushed through the crowd as you crossed the hall. The guests turned to follow you. Bucky and Iron were listening to you attentively, but the others didn’t give a damn.

You gestured toward the dining room. “We ate, we talked, we looked at each other suspiciously and then-” You sprinted back to the study with the confused guests in tow. “We drank, we talked and we all left the room at some point.”

“Great! It could be anyone,” Iron replied, throwing his arms up in exasperation.

“No! Because Falcon and Captain America stayed in the billiard room the entire time.”

“Well, I was with Green,” Iron said.

“Yes, but he can’t confirm it.” You shrugged.

“That’s because he’s dead,” Iron said, pouting like a petulant child. “Who killed him?”

“You’ll see,” you replied before you rushed to the library and opened the door. “While Falcon and the Captain were in the billiard room, my husband and I were in the library.”

“What were you doing?” Falcon asked, biting back a grin.

“Reading,” Bucky quickly chimed in. “We were reading.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Right, so after our private reading session, I went to the restroom and ran into Miss Scarlet.” You sprinted toward the restroom and the guests turned to follow you. “She was going back to the study.”

Captain America snapped his fingers, his eyes brightening with excitement. “She had to cross the hall to return to the study. And Hawkeye was in the dining room. He said he had forgotten his pack of cigarettes on the table.”

“She killed him?” Falcon asked, his brow furrowed.

“Not exactly,” you replied, “she was protecting the killer.”

“But why?”

“Because the killer hit Hawkeye with the candlestick just as Scarlet came out of the restroom. She didn’t see the whole thing. She saw Hawkeye on top of the killer, who was only trying to defend himself, and assumed that she had to stop him. So she picked up the candlestick and hit him on the head.”

“And the killer used it to their advantage!” Iron exclaimed before he walked over to you and the Captain. “They manipulated Scarlet into thinking they were the victim.”

“Exactly!” you beamed. “They tried to cover up his murder by making it look like he’d killed himself. The killer went to the conservatory, took the rope, but they couldn’t leave because they heard voices coming closer.”

“It was the science bros!” Iron clapped his hands. “We wanted to visit the conservatory. And let me guess, the killer used the secret passage to escape without being seen.”

“Yes,” you confirmed. “The library was empty by then. They rushed back to the dining room, dragged Hawkeye to the toilet and tied the rope around his neck. Then the killer and Scarlet returned to the study.”

“That’s a great theory, but do you have any proof?” Mrs. Black asked.

You waved her off. “When we split up to search the house, Scarlet showed the secret passage to Green, the one in the conservatory. Iron and I also found a secret passage, but we never mentioned it to anyone. Yet, Scarlet asked us who else knew about the secret passage _z_ ,” you accentuated the ‘ _s_.’ “The killer told her where the secret passages were.”

“There’s one thing I don’t understand,” Bucky said.

“ _One_  thing?” Falcon replied mockingly.

“Why was she killed?”

“The killer poisoned Scarlet because she felt guilty and was about to expose the truth,” you explained.

“Okay, fine, but who is the killer?” Mrs. Black asked, looking exasperated.

“The killer’s the person who has called us here tonight. Someone who knew about the secret passages.”

“Mr. Hill? But he never showed up!”

“You all assumed Mr. Lang’s employer was a man,” you said, shaking your head. “This castle belongs to Ms. Hill and she’s been with us this whole time.”

“It was you!” Iron gasped, pointing an accusing finger at you.

You rolled your eyes. “It’s not me, you dumbass, it’s the maid. You know, the maid with the super short skirt and the high heels.”

“Oh-Oh!” Iron whirled around and pointed at Maria. “It was you!”

An evil smile spread across her face. “Brilliantly worked out, Dazzle. I congratulate you,” she said and you shrugged off the praise. “How did you know it was me?”

“There’s a painting in the study; a woman lounging on a sofa. She’s wearing fancy clothes, but I recognized you. And Miss Scarlet tried to protect you. She said the staff was with her when Hawkeye died.”

“Uh, I have nothing to do with her. I’m just the butler,” Lang said, raising his hand like a schoolboy asking permission to speak. “I was in the cellar, we needed champagne.”

Maria didn’t protest when Bucky grabbed her and immobilized her arms. She smiled at him over her shoulder.

“Are you going to call the police? I have more money than Professor Iron, sweetie, I won’t go to jail. The cops are so easy to corrupt.”

“Maybe, but you’re not the only killer in this house. I realized something after we found Green’s body.” After a short pause, you continued.

“We all know one of the guests. Mr. Winter is my husband. Mrs. Black knew Hawkeye, I noticed the way they looked at each other during dinner. They were lovers and he probably helped her kill her last husband. That’s why she fainted when we found his body. She was in love with him.”

“I knew Scarlet,” Iron revealed, a sombre look on his face. “I’m responsible for her brother’s death. You all know I used to sell Air Force radio parts on the black market. He died because of me, but I never wanted to kill anyone.”

You walked over to Captain America who was staring at his shoes like they were the most interesting things in the room. You made him look at you.

“You killed Green.” You took his hand. “You accidentally cut yourself with the paper knife, but there’s no trace of it because you heal faster than most people.”

He pulled his hand free. “Green thought he was helping soldiers with his serum, but he only created monsters. A year ago, I was five feet four and weighed 95 pounds. I worked in an office, they wouldn’t let me go near the combat zone.

“And then Green showed up with his super serum and he said he would make my life better, but that was a lie. I was a human lab rat. He didn’t even recognize me,” Captain America scoffed, then met your eyes. “Yes, I killed him.”

You couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. He looked ashamed, yet relieved.

“And what about the stranger?” Lang asked. “Who killed the motorist?”

You turned back to the group and walked around the room until you stopped in front of the killer.

“He wasn’t a stranger, he was one of the guests. The empty seat wasn’t for Mr. – _Ms._ \- Hill, it was for the motorist and he was late.”

“Why didn’t he say anything when we let him in?” Bucky asked.

“To create confusion.”

“It worked,” Iron jokingly said.

“His name was Riley,” Falcon revealed. “He used to be my best friend. I stole money from my clients’ trust funds. I told them I was using their cash for investments, but that wasn’t true. We had a deal, it was a 50/50 split up, but I disappeared with the money.

“When I saw him, I knew he was going to say something… or call the cops. So while Scarlet was choking on her own blood, I crept into the library and killed him. It took less than half a minute.”

You turned to Bucky after Falcon’s confession. When you saw his bright smile, you knew he was proud of you and it made your stomach flutter.

“Great work, Lady Dazzle,” Mr. Lang said as he walked over to you. You were about to say something when he pulled out a badge from his inner breast pocket. “Agent Scott Lang, F.B.I. We’ve been trying to catch Ms. Hill for years now.”

“What? You’re a cop?!”

“Yup,” he grinned as he showed you his badge, “you didn’t see that coming, uh? I’ve been working undercover for the past five months.”

He spoke into his wrist microphone and you watched as cops barged into the house. Soon, Maria and the rest of the guests were handcuffed and led to the paddy wagon. You rushed back to Bucky and he wrapped his arms protectively around you, pulling you closer.

“You’re free to go,” Lang said after a while, “I owe you. Without you, I’d be serving champagne to Ms. Hill. But if I see you again-”

“You won’t!” Bucky quickly replied, then took your hand and led you out of the house. “C’mon, doll, before he changes his mind.”

You caught Lang’s eyes and blew him a kiss. He rolled his eyes. You were barefoot, but Bucky’s car was parked out front. He sped up the driveway, ready to put the events of the night behind him. He relaxed when he could no longer see the house.

Bucky looked at you from the corner of his eye and smiled to himself.

“You are  _so_  clever, you should have been a cop,” he said, echoing the words you had once said to him. “I bet you’d look good in their uniform.”

You chuckled and turned your head to look at him. “Honey, I look good in anything.”


End file.
